Download E-books Monstrous Regiment (For the Stage) PDF

By Terry Pratchett

A brand new level variation of 1 of Pratchett's best-selling novels

The mammoth Regiment in query is made from a vampire (reformed and rancid the blood, thank you), a troll, Igor (who is simply too satisfied to stitch you a brand new leg for those who aren't too specific approximately prior ownership), a suite of misfits and a tender lady discovers pair of socks shoved down her pants is an effective approach to open up doorways in a man's military. "One of the funniest English authors alive" (Independent)

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Download E-books Castle Murders PDF

Partying to loss of life? A parlous occasion on the fortress Perilous involves a lifeless halt whilst the physique of viscount Oren is stumbled on and foul play is suspected. yet who's the killer? And the place is the homicide weapon? The rambunctious revelers at fortress P. take part a treacherous treasure hunt for celebration favors of a decidedly lethal nature...the homicide weapon has to be hidden at the back of one of many 144,000 doorways, or will or not it's buried at the back of the subsequent sufferer?

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Download E-books The Outsorcerer's Apprentice PDF

By Tom Holt

A cheerful staff, it really is stated, is a efficient group.

Mmmm.
Try telling that to a military of belligerent goblins. Or the large undesirable Wolf. Or a qualified dragons layer. who's taking care of their healthiness? Who supplies a rattling approximately their insupportable operating stipulations, loss of sufficient medical health insurance, and bad espresso within the canteen?
Thankfully, with entry to an astonishingly diversified team and unlimited ordinary assets, maximizing profit and enhancing working revenue hasn't ever relatively been a subject for the only they name "the Wizard." in the past.
Because now a superbly stable enterprise version -- in line with sound financial making plans, entrepreneurial aptitude, and just one or of the countless parallel worlds that make up our universe -- is set to be disrupted via a tender guy no longer totally conscious of what is going on.
There's additionally a moderate threat that the cloth of truth might be torn to shreds. you actually do must be highly cautious with this stuff.

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Download E-books The Wit and Wisdom of Discworld PDF

By Terry Pratchett, Stephen Briggs

For greater than 20 years, Terry Pratchett has been regaling readers with stories of Discworld—a flat international balanced at the backs of 4 elephants, that are status at the again of a big turtle, flying via area. it's a global populated through ineffectual wizards and sharp-as-tacks witches, by means of drained policemen and devious dictators, by way of reformed thieves and vampires who've sworn to drink no blood. it's a global that's significantly various from our personal . . . other than whilst it isn't.

Now, in The Wit and knowledge of Discworld, a variety of nuggets of Pratchett's witty statement and sagacious observations were compiled by way of Pratchett specialist Stephen Briggs, a guy who, they are saying, is aware much more approximately Discworld than Terry Pratchett.

Within those pages, you will discover musings on:

  • Interior decorating: "It's a truth identified during the universes that regardless of how conscientiously the colours are selected, institutional decor finally ends up as both vomit eco-friendly, unmentionable brown, nicotine yellow, or surgical equipment red. by means of a few little-understood strategy of sympathetic resonance, corridors painted in these shades continually scent just a little of boiled cabbage—even if no cabbage is ever cooked within the vicinity." (Equal Rites)
  • Travel: "Any professional visitor quickly learns to prevent something needed on them as a 'regional speciality,' simply because all of the time period potential is that the dish is so disagreeable the folk dwelling far and wide else will chew off their very own legs instead of consume it. yet hosts nonetheless press it upon far-off site visitors besides: 'Go on, have the dog's head full of macerated cabbage and beef noses—it's a neighborhood speciality.'" (The final Continent)
  • Young men: "And then there has been the younger male stroll. at the very least girls swung merely their hips. younger males swung every thing, from the shoulders down. you need to attempt to occupy loads of house. It makes you glance larger, like a tomcat fluffing his tail. the men attempted to stroll monstrous in self-defense opposed to all these different significant boys available in the market. i am undesirable, i am fierce, i am cool, i would like a pint of shandy and me mam desires me domestic by way of nine." (Monstrous Regiment)
  • Class: "'Old cash' intended that it have been made see you later in the past that the black deeds that had initially crammed the coffers have been now traditionally inappropriate. humorous, that; a brigand for a father was once whatever you stored quiet approximately, yet a slave-taking pirate for a great-great-great-grandfather was once whatever to boast of over the port. Time grew to become the evil bastards into rogues, and rogue was once a be aware with a twinkle in its eye and not anything to be ashamed of." (Making Money)

. . . and extra! Culled from all of the Discworld novels, The Wit and knowledge of Discworld confirms Pratchett's position within the pantheon of significant satirists and proves why the Chicago Tribune has praised his Discworld as "entertaining and gloriously humorous . . . an accomplishment not anything in need of magical."

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Download E-books Advanced Banter: The Qi Book of Quotations (QI) PDF

By Stephen Fry, Alan Davies, John Mitchinson

The final word compendium of crisp one-liners, knockout jokes, droll asides and common truths gathered through the years via the creators of QI.

'You be aware of 'that look' ladies get after they wish intercourse? Me neither.' Steve Martin; 'You can't hinder the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, yet you could hinder them from nesting on your hair.' chinese language proverb; 'The Beatles are demise within the unsuitable order.' Victor Lewis-Smith; 'Cauliflower is not anything yet a cabbage with a school education.' Mark Twain; 'Depend at the rabbit's foot in case you will, yet take into account: it didn't paintings for the rabbit.' R.E. Shay; 'If it weren't for quotations, dialog among gents will be an never-ending sequence of 'what-ho's!' P. G.Wodehouse

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Download E-books Adrian Mole: The Wilderness Years (Adrian Mole, Book 4) PDF

By Sue Townsend

Mole is again. The fourth novel within the vastly well known Adrian Mole sequence, from the world over bestselling writer Sue Townsend. once more she shall we us delve into the hilarious and touching lifetime of a personality loved by means of hundreds of thousands all over. Adrian Mole has finally reached actual adulthood, yet he can't support roaming the pages of his diary like an untamed adolescent. ultimately given the heave-ho through Pandora, he seeks solace within the hands of Bianca, a professional hydraulic engineer masquerading as a waitress. among his dishwashing activity and finishing his epic novel, 'Lo! The Flat Hills of My Homeland', Adrian hopes that popularity and fortune won't maintain him ready for much longer.

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Download E-books Ricky Ricotta's Mighty Robot vs. The Voodoo Vultures From Venus (Book 3) PDF

By Dav Pilkey, Dan Santat

From Dav Pilkey, author of Captain Underpants, and acclaimed artist Dan Santat, an out-of-this-world friendship experience with all-new full-color illustrations!

Ever want you had a flying robotic for a ally? would it be nice to have a robotic so monstrous and robust that no-one may ever mess with you back? pleasant Robots could be enjoyable! yet with titanic buddies come immense duties. during this publication, the evil Victor Von Vulture and his military of Voodoo Vultures from Venus are approximately to take over planet Earth. purely the super-smart tips of Ricky and his robust robotic can ship the undesirable men packing for home!

Originally released in 2001, this version beneficial properties brand-new full-color illustrations and mini-comics throughout!

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Download E-books Uncle John's Unstoppable Bathroom Reader PDF

By Bathroom Readers' Institute

It's our sixteenth yr working (so to talk) I suggest, we are nonetheless going . . . . A light-hearted, easy-to-read choice of proof, costs, background, technological know-how, word-origins, popular culture, gossip, humor...and extra! equipped via length-"Short" (a quickly read), "Medium" (1-3 pages), "Long" (for these visits while anything a bit extra concerned is required), and to meet each call for, our renowned "Extended Sitting part" (for a leg-numbing experience.) working ft on each web page offer a "book inside a ebook" of strange facts.

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Download E-books Without Feathers PDF

By Woody Allen

Right here they are--some of the funniest stories and ruminations ever placed into print, by way of one of many nice comedian minds of our time. From THE WHORE OF MENSA, to GOD (A Play), to NO KADDISH FOR WEINSTEIN, previous and new Woody Allen lovers will chuckle themselves hysterical over those glowing gem stones.

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